...Alright, so I finally gave in and let my little Piper go to my mom's house and spend the first night ever in her 16 mos. of life! :P
Taylor goes to JJ's parents every Saturday night over night..which I would like to stop but it's caused soooo many problems fighting with this issue, I just need to accept the fact that they are obsessed with my daughter, I FORBID them to take over Piper like they did with Taylor..I blame it on the fact that I was a teen mother and I moved in with them when I was pregnant so they were they "helping" me raise my daughter. I guess I have never explained to anyone really my situation back then, so here's the chance to do so!
JJ(Joshua John) and I met in school(ALC) the end of my junior year, we started dating May 24th, 2003. Due to calculations and my grandma telling us we conceived Taylor on Halloween(like she knows! pssshhh! LMAO.) she was conceived in October sometime, I had nooooo idea I could have been pregnant, honestly, I still to this day do NOT know how it happened, well..I do but it was quite a shock! Eight weeks later, December 12, 2003 my mom brought me to the Dr. for a "checkup"..skiping the details, the Dr. later walked in, didn't even sit down..I don't think she even shut the door, she just stood in the doorway and said "you're pregnant" in a very disgusted voice. My mom broke down bawling and said "I'll meet you in the car." Wow, I still remember the exact feeling I had..I was frozen..mixed emotions. And I still felt this pregnancy was impossible to have happened but it was a very blessed mistake.
Granted I was young and still needed to finish school, I NEVER once thought about abortion OR adoption. My mommy insticts kicked in immediately..I quit smoking that day! So..after getting in the car, my mom drove right to my school, went in and pulled JJ out of class and said "Court's pregnant" and walked out and left. UGH. So JJ and I left school for the day, drove around for hours discussing our plans and what we need to do to raise this baby. I felt soooo bad about letting my mom down, I know it was killing her..I was following right her in footsteps, as she got pregnant with me at 17..we got pregnant the same time, the same age, WEIRD!
Well not even a week later and my mom is out baby shopping buying the baby things and trying to be happy and proud, although inside she was ashamed of me, I know. I think her biggest fear was that her and everyone else didn't think I would graduate high school, but I did..and went off to college afterwards to Cosmetology school but then later dropped out, beauty school dropout..I just lost interest, it wasn't what I wanted, and it was definately hard going to school with a newborn.
Five years later, here we are TRUELY blessed with a gorgeous, sassy, daddy's little girl..Taylor Jo Radsek! I honestly believe God gave her to me at such a young age for a reason, to keep me out of trouble, and to settle down. I lost a lot of friends becoming a mom, I just matured and had a lot of responsibility, PLUS everyone else went off to college..it was hard having to grow up soooo early and fast but looking back I would NOT have changed anything. Taylor has made me the person I am today, sometimes I think I am too much of a mommy, if that's possible?! I always felt sooo guilty going out with friends and leaving my daughter behind..I remember on my 21st birthday I went out with a bunch of my friends and just bawled, saying I guilty I felt leaving her at home with daddy while I was out drinking, and doing a selfish thing..I know it's unhealthy for mother's to not get a break but it's hard not being there for my kids at all times..
IDK..back to the beginning..so here I am home alone..no kids, waiting for my buffalo wings to get here..LOL. Then I don't know what I will do!? Watch a sappy love story, paint my nails & toes, finish reading "LA Candy" and wait for JJ to get home to have a romantic evening, if we can remember how to do that! LMAO. I told him I would make him shrimp scampi when he got home from work at 9pm but thats too late to wait to eat, I've only had a bagel and a chai tea today...I'm starving!!!
Perfect timing, my wings are now here...mmmmmm! Til next time...love y'all for reading! (:
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