I hate to be the Debbie downer in life...but I just feel like friendships are just pointless lately. Like I am putting so much effort into it but not getting the same in return, it's very upsetting. I know I have many flaws as a mother, a daughter, a lover, at everything in life...but I try my hardest always to be the best, especially when it comes to relationships/friendships with others.
I honestly believe I am a very good friend, always willing to go that extra distance but don't always get that in return. I admit I am not always there as a friend physically but I always make sure to call or text a friend and ask how they're doing and just to talk...but when I need a friend the most I don't hear from them for weeks, close friends that is.
I just feel like I need to ignore them and give up on them. I am not going to "fight" for a friendship that they don't value and appreciate.
It's like some people just come into my life when they need something or don't have anyone else around at the time...I really don't have the time for that.
Is it horrible of me to admit I get really annoyed with the majority of my "friends?"
I think it's because they have hurt me and let me down in some way..it's come to the point where I don't even want friends anymore..I just want to focus on my family, I mean they're all I really need...I am soooooo blessed to have them and would be lost without them!
Another thing I feel like I'm at a different stage in life then the majority of them...I'm done with my partying days, yes I am only 23 yrs. old but I made the choice to be a mother, that's what I'm going to do. I have two little girls to focus on...I don't care if you call me a loser for staying home on a Friday night, I sometimes think people are just jealous of the family I have at home with me...as bitchy as that sounds..but if you're a true friend you'll respect my wishes of not wanting to go out and get trashed and be the talk of the town for being such a lousy parent.
Oh, yeah..and go ahead, read my blog and make the assumption it's about you..and go tell all your other friends to read this...because I'm supposedly bashing all the mothers...seriously, I am so fed up with the people in this town...I am a grown classy woman and don't have the time for the drama you feed off of and need in your life..I'm not at all saying I am better then anyone else and I don't think my parenting style is the best, I make mistakes as a mother plenty of times but I ALWAYS make sure I am there for my girls physically and emotionally and that's enough to say about that, it's more then some can say!
Whofta...this is just a lot of rambling and frustration..sorry for making ya read all of this if you did take the time to do so.
I'm just really upset with the "friends" that are floating in and out of my life.
Gosh, what happened to good old friendships?!
The kind that there's no drama or talking about your other friends because that just goes to show you sit there and talk about me to your others. LOW.
I never had a friendship where we got together just to hang out and watch movies, or bake cookies...well I mean in my adult life...or we went out for coffee every Saturday morning or shopping..why is that so hard to find in a friend?!
I mean, I have friends to do those things with...but I don't feel a true connection, like I can trust them and count on them...I guess I have trust issues...but I have seriously been let down by EVERY friend...why is that?! Maybe I'm too nice, seriously I think that's it!
Are there any true friends out there for me?! haha..seriously!
OKAY, I'm done...sorry!
I completley understand and feel your fustration! You do truley start to realize in your life what friends were "True" friends and others not! It's surpising and quite shocking when you look back and the majority of them no longer fit in with your life .. and probably never really did! I've lost every single one of my friends except ONE. One friend who became a young mom, even before me! Everyone else went on with their lives and continued on a path I just wasn't wanting to take anymore. I believe your doing the right thing for yourself, and family. I do believe there needs to be some sort of seperation within friends once you become a "mommy" and I don't say that to bash those who are not Mom's already or who cannot possibly even have one. But I do think that after having kid's you do become a different person. A person that another mom can most likely relate to. With the one friend I still get together with, I enjoy the fact of just looking to spend time together chit-chatting about the kid's and worry free things. No drama! I hate drama myself and you do get to an age where it becomes very immature. Hopefully those who are your friends and really want to remain your friend will open up their eyes a little more, and other's may not. Do what makes you happy! Friends or Not .. :)
ReplyDeleteI can definitely relate with your frustrations. I am at a very different place than many of my friends are just as a married girl! I always have my family, house and husband on the brain when sometimes I get sick of hearing whining about other BS! However, I also have a good group of girls that I definitely make an effort to stay in contact with. I can say that some try and that I most definitely try harder than some too.
ReplyDeleteJust keep an open mind when meeting new people. I feel like this is cliche, but when you're least expecting it I bet a great friend will pop into your life!!! I have also tended to befriend older women. Not... my mom's age type women but older than my age group. These women I tend to have more in common with.
Anyway, keep your head up! Say no to drama!
I just came across your blog.. Love it :-)
ReplyDeleteI'm really sorry you're going through a tough time with friends right now. I can't relate to your situation about family and kids but I am your age and I don't always want to party. I have 2 great friends who are on the same page with me - one I met in college and the other a friend I just reunited with from middle school. As Chelsi said, I bet a great friend will pop into your life when you least expect it. I don't think you should put so much effort into a person if you aren't getting anything in return. It's not worth your time. You're better off by yourself. Just keep your head up and be the best person you can be :-) Drama is never a good thing!